Declaring Independence from Microsoft Parody

In light of this week's Independence Day celebration, I thought it would be fun to use a sprinkle of parody as a declaration of independence from the Kingdom of Microsoft.

Background

Inspired by Wikipedia's Independence Day  ---

During the Project Management Revolution, the smart separation of the Gazelle Business Colonies from Microsoft occurred on July 2, 1776, when the Second Continental Congress voted with their intuition to approve a resolution of independence that had been proposed in June by Richard Henry Lee of Virginia declaring fast growing companies and their business managers independent from the requirements to use Excel or Microsoft Project for planning and executing business processes.

After voting for independence, Congress turned its attention to the Declaration of Independence, a statement explaining this decision, which has been prepared by a Committee of Five, with Thomas Jefferson as its principle author. Congress debated and revised the wording of the Declaration, finally approving it on July 4th.

First two sections of the declaration

"When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political brands of Microsoft which have connected them with the complex and static use of Microsoft Project, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all business owners, managers, and team members share equal needs for instant collaboration and ease of use, that they are endowed by their intelligence with certain business rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

— That to secure these rights, small, medium, and large organizations are instituted among People, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed,

— That whenever any Form of business management becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Processes and Technology, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Organizations long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the crappy processes and tools to which they are accustomed.

But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Old-Technology-School Oligarchy, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such poor management, and to provide new Guards for their future security."

Although, this is written with a bit of parody, I'm proud to be part of this great nation and it was refreshing to re-read the Declaration of Independence.

I would also like to thank great companies like Microsoft and the new spring of cloud-based firms for showing us at PieMatrix, that as an entrepreneurial nation, individuals can create new technologies and build great companies.

Have a great July 4th!